My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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