....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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