I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize