i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
