I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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