He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
where am i from again
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
