Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
