you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
