she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
