Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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