Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
