I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
