we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
