i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
