That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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