nut hugger
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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