remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
