If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
