I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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