My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
