I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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