Im at strip club and am horny
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You can't just leave with hair like that
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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