Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
