just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
