ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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