She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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