I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
