i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
