Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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