you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I have aggressive nipples.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
