i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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