Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Bring me that man meat
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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