some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
