My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He shit in the fireplace
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