Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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