As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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