I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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