WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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