whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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