My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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