dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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