i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
