I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
