I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
