I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
