i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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