Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
NoShamevember. You game?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
