If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
