I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
