Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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