i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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